Sunday, December 9, 2012


I came very close to doing something...terminal last night. It wasn't because of the party itself, or my friends. Nothing has changed, I've just been reminded of the things I try so hard to suppress. It takes me a few days to recuperate.

Watching my friends' love lives flourish feels like a knife in the side. Of course I'm happy for them, but I feel like such a failure. And yes, I'm jealous. They've bared their souls and found someone who likes what they see. Personally, I haven't shown anyone the real me, because I don't think anyone could ever love me. So instead I disguise myself with stupid incessant joking. But now, not even do they not know me, I don't know me.

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way sometimes when I see my friends awesome love lifes too but you just got to try and forget about them and make use of the time you have alone doing what ever you want...and hey there are always more fish in the sea.